yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
