Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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