I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Im part way to drunk.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
