God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
