Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
