can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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