I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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