According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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