just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
