What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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