I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
