glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize