I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
