she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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