I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
