i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
