im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
