First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
this will be a night to untag.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize