we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
