really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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