Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
