I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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