Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
