Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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