What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
