You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just pee around me
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
