you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
