I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
