My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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