For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
