I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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