I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
