White coat. Heels.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize
