I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
