Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Randomize
