Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
did i walk over a car last night?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
