but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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