I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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