Your mouth is God's brothel.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
that is very illegal...i love you.
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