I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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