he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I love how my cats smell like pot.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
