Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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