it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
