i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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