thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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