actually, I'm a sock model
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
