Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
