why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
