My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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