why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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