Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
