I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
