My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
