This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm too high and old for this...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
