Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
