you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
