He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
