So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
