guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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