just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
