i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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