I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I need a burrito and a hug.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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