i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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