I bet he comes in French.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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