walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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