im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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