well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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