Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
