Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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