Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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