we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
