Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
