You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
